The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
