Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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