He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
