well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize