How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
