He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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