do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
