And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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