can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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