Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
