He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
