just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
