We're like a lot better than the average bears
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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