I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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