I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
