I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i will never coherently bang her
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
