he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
