Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
