I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
