one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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