All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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