i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
