It's like a parade of train wrecks.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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