I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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