I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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