you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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