even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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