I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Damn victory sex feels great
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
