I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
