Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
