I have demons in me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
