If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
