We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
