I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
