is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
