I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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