is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
