wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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