i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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