I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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