period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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