it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
