i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
