Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
