I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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