I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
