Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
