I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
