Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
