I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
