Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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