walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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